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As I was about to get on the highway, a baby bird jumped onto the window ledge of my Civic. I could see it in my driver’s side mirror, and tried to nudge it off by letting my foot off the break a bit— nothing.
I made a left turn onto the exit ramp, and the baby bird hung on for dear life. In fact, it looked like it was enjoying itself, closing its eyes, its wings held back. At one point, it didn’t even look like a bird, just a ball of feathers flapping in the wind.
“WheeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeee!” I heard it squeal. Yeah. No joke. Literal squeals of joy as if it was on a roller coaster, as if it was having the the time of its life.
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AS WE ALL KNOW, veiled women are a dowdy, dumpy bunch. They are women with no thoughts or opinions of their own, women who can’t so much as shut the bedroom window if they’re getting a draft without first consulting a man and asking his permission. Maybe, back when they were three or four years old, they dreamed of grander things from life, but now that they are adults they’ve been forced to wear the shroud, walk three feet behind their husbands, and stifle whatever hopes and feelings they used to call their own under the guise of being hapless helpmates to domineering men.
Right?
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One summer morning, about a year ago, I found myself in a car with a young Muslim man who had memorized all of the Qur’an. I hadn’t really hung out with a young, male Muslim teen in a while, so I thought I’d pick his brain. This was at a time when I thought I wanted to be an imam, or religious leader. Before I got a chance though, he let out a yawn.
“Man, I’m so tired. I was on the phone till four o’clock this morning.”
“Who is the girl?” I replied, smiling.
He stiffened. He thought he could slip one by me.
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Ahh, the matrimonial Bio Data. A one sheet paper or electronic document with any information you wish to include. Whatever the contents, though, the goal is the same: a wife like Aishwarya (Note: Sorry boys ) You’ll see aunties swapping them at Muslim Singles’ “Banquets,” you’ll see glossy, you’ll see quality card stock. They are sort of like resumes, but they tell you even less. You can get them in matte, and you can even get them printed on light green textured paper for that slightly professional look. I’ve even seen a few laminated ones. Others go the whole nine with glow-in-the-dark in the hopes that a lovely lady will be reading their Bio Data over and over in the silence of the night…
You may wonder what my expertise is in this field so allow me to explain that I did indeed have a Muslim Personals section on this site, and I frequent Muslim gatherings. As you can imagine, I come across hundreds of these things. So I allow me to present to you:
The Top 5 Mistakes That People Make When Constructing a Bio Data.
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