About KufiGirl

by KufiGirl :: posted 17 April 07

I can’t remember anymore whose idea it was first: did HijabMan ask me to co-blog here, or did I bully him into it? What I do know is that it was my idea to call myself “KufiGirl,” which I saw as a tongue-in-cheek play on the (itself tongue-in-cheek) name “HijabMan.” Initially he protested, saying that the moniker had sexist implications – not for the image of a kufi on a female, but because, as a former Women’s Studies major, he could not abide by me calling myself a girl instead of a woman, especially if I was supposed to be presenting myself as his equal-opposite. “How can I be HijabMAN when you’re KufiGIRL?” he asked.

In theory I agree, but the name “KufiWoman” just doesn’t sound as good, does it? Besides, when one is the mother of a teenager, one does what one can to preserve one’s youth.

I became interested in Islam in my late teens but didn’t convert until I was 30. Prior to that I was very comfortable as an atheist and never imagined I’d be anything else. No, I do not have any of the standard narratives people like to pin on converts: I didn’t go through an airy-fairy soul-searching “experimental” stage in which I tried out twenty other religions first, nor am I rebelling against a fundamentalist background and using Islam to get back at my parents. I grew up United Church of Christ (the same Christian denomination Barack Obama joined as an adult, and the folks responsible for these commercials). They’re good people. My mother is still an active UCC member and my foremost role model when it comes to combining spirituality, compassion, and critical thinking.

Nor did I make a superficial conversion to please a man – another standard story pinned on female converts – although I did marry a Muslim during my second trip to the Middle East, and that definitely solidified my interest. But he came from a liberal family where any suggestion that I should convert for their sake was studiously avoided to the point where it would have been suspect if it did happen (“there’s no compulsion in religion”); my conversion happened several years after our divorce. His own understanding of Islam and Classical Arabic was vast, however, and he endured every one of my questions – no matter how belligerently I phrased them at the time – with patience and respect. We’re still friendly, and whatever other differences we’ve had over the years, I will always be grateful for his open, engaged approach to all matters religious.

Our daughter is thirteen now, and has been raised Muslim since she was born. My interest in political Islam pre-dated her birth, but, lemme tellya, there’s nothing like parenting a Muslim daughter in post-9/11 America to give you a trial-by-fire introduction to issues of religion and identity. Children come out of the womb assuming they’re human, that the whole wide world is open to them, and it’s one rude awakening after another to be told they should behave according to what, not who, they are: that the rules, rights, and privileges they were told were universal actually come with a footnote, one stating they’re not applicable to girls, and/or Arabs, and/or Muslims, and/or immigrants and their children. Some of this pressure comes from the conservative arm of religious communities, including Muslim communities; much more of it comes mainstream American stereotypes – some of which, since September 11 and the passing of the Patriot Act, have been codified into law.

When I’m not yelling at the television I like to read, travel, and harass my cats. I can bake my own bread but I never do. When I was eight I won a “Most Original” prize in a kite-making contest. When I was eleven I lost my watch in Liechtenstein (true story). I used to have a pet rooster named Fletcher, but he died of old age. My favorite color is purple. I haven’t decided what I want to be when I grow up.

Click here to view all of KufiGirl’s Posts

fathima at 17 April 07 :: #

“Children come out of the womb assuming they’re human” and then we forget and need to learn again.
I look forward to reading your posts :)
nazia at 17 April 07 :: #

very nice post. harassing cats is very fun! i no longer own one..but it was fun when i did. can’t wait for more posts!
Will at 18 April 07 :: #

Really enjoyed your post. Look forward to reading more!
mo at 18 April 07 :: #

very interesting story
UmTaleb at 18 April 07 :: #

Salam KufiGirl,
Does that mean we’ll get more than one post here every month?
Yipee!
HM at 18 April 07 :: #

Oooh, UmTaleb, that was a low blow! I’m working on it!
Susan A. in Ottawa at 19 April 07 :: #

Yay, KufiGirl! Tell us more, tell us more! I’m interested already…
Christine at 19 April 07 :: #

Assalamu Aleikum, KufiGirl! I’m a convert myself, and Insha’Allah I’ll have the strength to raise my (as of now hypothetical) children as strong Muslims as well. I look foward to reading your posts!
Princess Egypt at 19 April 07 :: #

Love your post … Love you! :)
maliurj at 23 April 07 :: #

Bismillah:
As Salaamu alaikum Khadij; read this article??!!
Heather at 28 April 07 :: #

“Nor did I make a superficial conversion to please a man – another standard story pinned on female converts…”

Heh. Just minutes ago I had someone express surprise when he discovered that I didn’t convert to Islam for my husband. Does that happen to you a lot?

Welcome! This site serves two main purposes: to entertain and educate the Believing and curious community, and to generate a bit of cash—God willing. But there’s a lot more about HijabMan.

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