It’s been quite a while since I’ve posted here regularly, but I’m finally ready to change that. My buddy Mediha just helped me move the site over to a new server and re-did the store section of the web site. It works much better now than it ever did before. We’ve also changed the design just a tad, with a bar at the top of this window that takes you to different sections of this site. I’ve separated the mosque section for now, and will get to it once I start posting daily. In addition to this blog, I’ve also started blogging over at patheos. Patheos, an interfaith site, recently acquired Altmuslim as well as Muslimah Media Watch.
Now that I’ve got the formalities out of the way, three beautiful things to kick off a new chapter of hijabman!
1. My wife regularly laughs in her sleep. About an hour after we go to bed, in the off-chance that I’m still awake, I hear MrsHM let out a joyous burst of laughter. I’ll ask her why she’s laughing even though she’s in a deep slumber and usually I’ll get an unintelligible answer– something like, “The movie and penguins.” After some further prodding her mostly-sleeping self will give up trying to explain, “I don’t know, it’s just something in my head…”
Hearing your partner laugh whilst sleeping has got to be one of the best feelings in the world. I figure that if shes delighted in a subconscious state, she must be enjoying her life in a conscious one. It’s a beautiful thing to know that your partner is content– not to mention a relief!
This morning, after another night of laughter, she told me she was dreaming of being pregnant. Foreshadowing?
2. When your partner zings you.
Note: This is the 4th part in a series about how I met my wife (and daughter). Just joining us? Check out Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 5.
“Beta, she’s just like you kids–opens the fridge and everything! She even saw that the papaya was almost done, and cut up a new one!” – My Mother
HijabMan: Two months after I left Singapore for the second time, EyeDot submitted a poster presentation for The Fancy-Named Conference in Baltimore. Surprise, Surprise, her poster was accepted, and she enjoyed a fully funded week-long trip to (you guessed it) Philadelphia! Even more exciting was that her trip coincided with Eid-ul-fitr!
Have you been counting? Two out of our three trips, over six months time were fully paid for. How’s that for divine intervention?!
Note: This is the 3rd part in a series about how I met my wife (and daughter). Just joining us? Check out Part 1, Part 2, Part 4, Part 5
Question: How do two fairly practicing Muslims with limited financial means make an informed decision about marrying each other when they live on opposite sides of the world?
Answer: They live together for a month.
Was that the collective bunching of a billion Muslims’ panties I just heard?
What we did is not for everyone. Our situation was extraordinary. This is where traditional approaches to courting fail.
Note: This Is The 2nd In A Series About How I Met My Wife (And Daughter). Just joining us? Here’s Part 1, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5
We left off just as I boarded a plane back to the U.S. in April of 2009. I had just stayed with EyeDot and her daughter WarriorPrincess for 3 days at the end of my Malaysian adventure. While there, EyeDot and I developed an interest in each other.
Just seven days after I left, EyeDot launched a scheme to get me back in Southeast Asia. She suggested that she ask (read: she ordered) her younger brother to hire me to photograph his wedding in Penang two months later.
You read that correctly. She, the eldest in the family, tried to get her family to fly me (the youngest in my family) across the world so we could have an excuse to get to know each other. Talk about ovarian fortitude!
Note: This is the 1st part in a series about how I met my wife (and daughter). Check out Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5.
It seems like a romantic comedy plot [as long as I get played by Hugh Grant, okay?] or even a Bollywood movie [without all the drama and dance numbers…] but it happened. I met and married a woman exactly halfway around the world, adopted her daughter as my own, and moved to Southeast Asia to be with them.
Edit: Links work now, sorry!
Muslim marriage is a contract, not a sacrament. Though it has importance as the only religiously sanctioned way for individuals to have legitimate sexual relationships and to procreate, marriage is a civil agreement, entered into by two individuals or those acting on their behalf. – Kecia Ali @ The Feminist Sexual Ethics Project
Young Muslims tend to hear a lot about how great Islamic Marriage Contracts are. At conferences, lectures, and even on the internet we hear about how, because they are civil agreements, both the bride and groom can add stipulations. For instance, Fatema Mernissi made famous the story of Sukayna, the great granddaughter of the Prophet Muhammad who was pretty much a badass and stipulated all sorts of things in her marriage contracts: Read more
Editor’s Note: The following is a guest post from Purvis
A few years after converting to Islam, I wondered to myself how I was ever going to find a Muslim husband. I mean, people who are not Muslim complain about how hard it is to find someone, but here I was restricting myself to a minority segment of the population! But an even bigger problem was that I didn’t have any ACCESS to this (Muslim male) population, due to the strict gender segregation enforced in my local Muslim community.
However, there are mechanisms built in to the community to deal with this problem, mechanisms that remind me of the movie “Fiddler on the Roof.” Yes, “The Aunties” knew about lots of single brothers in the community. “So and So’s son,” or brother, or whatever. And since I was a convert, and The Aunties wanted to help improve my religion, they felt that the obvious choice of husband for me would be the strictest, most traditional Muslim man they could possibly find.
Given that I was (and am) a non hijab-wearing, independent-minded, successful career woman with little to no interest in traditional gender roles, that approach wasn’t going to work for me. Since restricting myself to the local community was clearly not a viable option, I realized that I would need to expand my search nationwide—by going online.