As a fairly quiet 16 year old, I didn’t act on many opportunities to travel outside my self-created computer and television screen bubble. Starting high school with a bit of a rough patch, didn’t help much either. By the time of my junior year, however, I found some popular and friendly kids who created an open atmosphere in my physics class.
One summer morning, about a year ago, I found myself in a car with a young Muslim man who had memorized all of the Qur’an. I hadn’t really hung out with a young, male Muslim teen in a while, so I thought I’d pick his brain. This was at a time when I thought I wanted to be an imam, or religious leader. Before I got a chance though, he let out a yawn.
“Man, I’m so tired. I was on the phone till four o’clock this morning.”
“Who is the girl?” I replied, smiling.
He stiffened. He thought he could slip one by me.
The following is something I wrote when I was 15. By reading the following you may not understand the full picture of what my life was like then so let me clue you in. I was a sheltered 14 year old, with no friends. I was angry at God because I thought God was unjust, and that I was going to go to hell anyway. My parents were immigrants, and I didn’t feel comfortable talking to them about my problems. I didn’t feel comfortable talking to anyone about my problems. I didn’t fit in to public school. Throw in some really messed up Islamic Sunday school system plus puberty and everything felt like it was going to collapse on top of my 14 year old body, and this is how I felt at the time. If you’re having similar feelings to the ones I had, keep in mind that its not the end of the world, your life will continue to change. If you ever need someone to talk to who has gone through it, don’t hesitate to e-mail me. I’m always looking for new friends anyway. If you are in the UK, there now exists a Muslim help-line for teens. If you aren’t comfortable on the phone, they even have a real-time help-chat. It’s run by open-minded, amazing people. If you have money, you should definitely considering donating.
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