Mind Map (Age 16)

My Mind (written in 1998)

First published in chowk way back when I was 16

Several communities are located in the kingdom (my mind) which work together to form the entity known as HijabMan. What I do, how I do it, what I say, and how I say it. The Plateau of Intelligence lies in the center, housing Albert Einstein look-alikes who regulate or encourage other functions. For example, the Sea of Testosterone^1^ is regulated by the people collectively known as Intelligence. The fish in the Sea of Testosterone ask the Intelligence whether or not to act on urges. Most of the time the Intelligence replies in the negative. Due to the constant negative responses, I have learned to harness and control those fish. On the other hand, Intelligence compliments humor. In order to be funny you need to be somewhat intelligent.

We’ll start with the Farms of Insecurity and move clockwise. The Farms of Insecurity are slowly diminishing due to poor farming techniques. This, however is a good thing because new, experienced farmers are thinking of buying the land and renaming it High Self-Esteem Central. This hasn’t happened yet, although the majority of Insecurian farmers are slowly moving out. The Humorians to the west have started aiding the new farmers in taking over the run-down farms of Insecurity^2^. Humoria is a small region in the nation of Creativity, but don’t let its size fool you. With the strongest military in all of my mind, the Humorians influence everything. They are constantly in motion, spread throughout every part of the kingdom.

The republics of Creativity and Imagination dominate the west-northwestern portion and Fantasy Island is located on the border of these two peaceful nations. This island is inhabited by an eternal people who exist in their dreams, jumping from one adventure to the next, not having to face the challenges if life. One minute, going down Victoria Falls in an inner tube and a thong; the next, running from a bunch of cannibals who wish to carve out their adrenal glands with pairing knives.

Then comes Memoria, a small nation full of scribes who record every detail of events that have taken place in the past sixteen years. The complex people of the Red, Warm, Inhabited, Dry, Forest pay attention to small details. A small population of these dwarfs have migrated to Memoria to help write down detailed accounts of the past. Islamion, a nation full of a spiritual people, practice the religion of Islam. These people consider themselves religious but do not believe things that do not make sense to them. The attitude of, “Just because the majority does it doesn’t mean it’s right,” is common. They also instill basic morals into the people of the kingdom.

To the east lie Love, the Sea of Testosterone, and Intuition. Love, the huge region making up most of the eastern edge of my mind, is full of a variety of people. The tribe of people living near the Sea of Testosterone are a confused people. You see, the gravitational forces created by the moon added to the high winds create huge waves in the sea and every so often the beaches and surrounding areas of Love are contaminated with testosterone. At the opposite end of Love is a region of Family. This region is rather small due to the fact that the people that inhabit this place aren’t on the same wavelength that most of their family is. They are family nonetheless, and they are the only people that one can really count on (in most cases).

To the South are the nations of West and East Emotion separated by The Stream and Intuition. West Emotion controls positive feelings, such as happiness. East Emotion manages negative feelings, such as loneliness and sadness. Sometimes however, a negative reflex, tears, are paired with a positive sensation, happiness. Native Intuitives run the psychic hotline (1-900-PSYCHIC, she couldn’t have possibly known about my affair with Bobby!!). They provide me with premonitions of the near future and vibrations they feel from other people or surroundings.

(1) The Sea of Testosterone used to be an ocean, but dried up during the maturing process when HijabMan learned how to harness, and control his urges.

(2) In the past, Insecurity took up close to 25% of HijabMan s mind. Due to enduring severe harassment as a child, HijabMan grew shy, closed in, and confused. Up until recently, every time he walked through a room he felt he was being laughed at, stared at. He didn t like himself. This still happens sometimes, but not as much. He has found humor, but has yet to find a circle of friends in which he feels comfortable